I think my fart just growled at me.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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