Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
