I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
