apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
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