Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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