the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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