Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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