he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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