My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I currently don't understand fingers.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
