I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
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