So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
