So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
