I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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