she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
