didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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