I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
