i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Randomize
