I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
