the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
