i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Randomize
