kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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