ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
