when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
