she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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