As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
