you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
