So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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