I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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