Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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