Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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