It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
