Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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