those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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