Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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