It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
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