I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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