3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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