NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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