i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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