Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
