This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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