i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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