is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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