Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
