we're chasing vodka with high fives
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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