I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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