I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize