Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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