all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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