there was a trapeze. enough said
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
