You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
