do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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