if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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