i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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