I don't usually arrange sex via text message
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
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you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
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She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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