is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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