we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
