what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
