i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Quick, to the slutcave!
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
