This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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