If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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