so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
