ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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