I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
