Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
My vagina just recognized that song.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
