Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize