Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I've blown a few things in my day
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize