wrigley field is MILF paradise
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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