I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
